||[Feb. 8th, 2006|12:12 pm]
ok, haven't posted in a while, but I had to write this crazy dream down before I forgot....|
Me, allen and Tyler had just gotten out of a late nigh movie and were driving my mom's car. I remember getting in the car and driving it and it was all rainy and the road was all glare, then I remember trying to break but instead, grabbing the seat head rest in front of me and was like WTF?! how'd I get in the back seat tyler? no one was driving. then allen looked at me and said something like, it's ok, it'll work out, then I remember waking up breathing hard.........weird fucking shit
on a side note: if no one knows, I have Tourettes Syndrome. had it for a bout a decade now. there's no cure. no "real" medicine, just experimental stuff (aka expensive). shitty I know. so now I'm on disability to help pay for my medication.
to say the truth, my tourettes has slowly worstened since high school. then: I had mild verbal slurs and head twitches. now: I almost say cus words under my breath, I have an almost OCD like state of scratching, picking, and touching the arm, face, etc., my eyes hurt and have the tendency to roll as if having a mild seizure, but I'm not. I can control all of these 90% of the time. it's just like a really bad pressure or tension. and with meds, it's almost non-existent. but my last med I was on cost 550 bucks a box. so I turned to disability mainly to get medicaid. but...I also get free checks...which is cool in all, but I never talk about my condition, and I lead my friends to think it isn't that bad, and they think me getting disablity is bullshit, but to be quite honest. It really fucks with me, even keeping a job in the past has been a nightmare.